What to expect in your first counselling session

A lot of people put off starting counselling, not because they don't want help, but because they don't know what they're walking into. Will I have to talk about my childhood? What if I don't know what to say? What if I cry?

Every counsellor works a little differently, but here's what a first session usually looks like, and how it works with me.

Before the first session: the free consultation

Many counsellors, including me, offer a short free consultation before you commit to anything. Mine is 15 minutes, by video. It's not a therapy session. It's a chance to tell me a little about what's bringing you in, ask questions about how I work, fees and insurance, and get a feel for whether talking with me feels comfortable.

There's no obligation to book afterwards. Finding the right fit matters, and it's completely fine to talk to a few counsellors before choosing one.

Paperwork and consent

Before your first full session, you'll be asked to read and agree to an informed consent form. It explains how counselling works, how your information is kept confidential, and the specific situations where a counsellor is required to share information, such as a serious risk of harm. It's worth reading properly, and you can ask about anything that's unclear. I also go over the main points at the start of our first session.

What happens in the session

The first session is mostly about getting to know you and what you'd like help with. I'll usually ask about:

• What's bringing you to counselling now, and how long it's been going on

• How it's affecting your daily life: sleep, work or school, relationships, mood

• What you've already tried, and what has or hasn't helped

• A bit of background, such as family, culture, important relationships and big life events, only as much as you're comfortable sharing

• Your strengths and what's going well, not just the problems

• What you'd like to be different, and what you're hoping to get from counselling

You don't need to have answers to all of this, or tell your whole story in one go. You're in charge of how much you share and how fast. If a question doesn't feel right yet, you can say "I'd rather not get into that today", and that's completely okay.

By the end, we'll usually have a rough sense of what you'd like to focus on and how we might approach it. I'll also ask how the session felt for you. Your feedback shapes how we work together.

Common worries (and why they're okay)

• "I don't know what to say." That's very common. It's my job to ask questions and help the conversation along. "I don't know where to start" is a perfectly good place to start.

• "My problems aren't serious enough." You don't need a crisis or a diagnosis to see a counsellor. Feeling stuck, stressed, or just wanting to understand yourself better are all good reasons.

• "What if I cry?" Then you cry. It happens often, and it's welcome. You won't be judged for having feelings.

• "Will I be told what to do?" Not in the way people often fear. I'll offer ideas, perspectives and tools, but you're the expert on your own life, and decisions stay yours.

Preparing for a virtual session

All my sessions are online, which means you can join from home or anywhere private in Nova Scotia. A few things help:

• Find a quiet, private space where you won't be overheard. Some people use their car, a bedroom, or a booked room at a library.

• Use headphones if you can, for privacy and better sound.

• Test your camera, microphone and internet a few minutes before.

• Have a glass of water and some tissues nearby, just in case.

• Give yourself a few minutes afterwards before jumping back into work or family life.

Sessions run through Jane App, a secure platform built for healthcare. You'll get a link by email, and there's nothing to install on a computer.

After the first session

It's normal to feel relieved, tired, or a bit stirred up after a first session. Talking about difficult things takes energy. Many people find it takes two or three sessions to really settle in.

From there, sessions often happen weekly or every two weeks to start, and we'll check in regularly on how things are going. You can change the pace, take a break, or stop at any time.

If you'd like to know more about how I work, you can read about my services and fees or the FAQ. And if you're ready, the first step is a free consultation.